We encounter strangers, friends, and acquaintances every day and our interactions are often guided by the first impressions we have when we see them. Are they smiling or frowning? Do they seem like they are “put together?” Do they appear calm or agitated? Sometimes we pay very little attention and go about our day with rote greetings: “Hello! How are you?” “Do you need help with anything today?” “Have a great day!” And sometimes we are paying attention but the people with whom we interact have put up a social facade, masking anything that might be troubling them.
Recently, music director John Johns stepped out of 9:30 worship to share his spiritual journey with the Senior High students in Sunday School. He talked about his childhood, growing up in the Roman Catholic church, and struggling with depression and anxiety. Toward the end of the morning, he shared a story about how important it is to be part of a loving community.
A couple of years ago, John was working quietly in the sanctuary and Cara asked a seemingly innocuous question: “Are you okay?” John answered, “yeah, just getting a lot done,” but he realized that what he thought was a carefully manufactured happy face must be slipping. For most of his life, he was used to smiling at people and pretending to be “fine,” when most of the time he was working hard to keep his depression and anxiety at bay.
Cara’s attention and the simple question made John realize he couldn’t manage his mood on his own anymore, and that he needed to go to the doctor for help. Two years and several treatment options later, he feels like he has his mood under control, and he knows he is part of a community that is helping to watch out for him.
Cara doesn’t even remember the conversation. But sometimes a passing comment can have a significant impact on another person. From ending a bad relationship to seeking treatment or renewing faith, simple conversations can make a big impact in the context of a caring community. We recognize the power of caring conversation in many forms, such as CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish) retreats, support groups, and Stephen Ministry. But John and Cara’s narrative highlights that there doesn’t need to be a formal mechanism for such a conversation to take place, just a caring community.
Yours in Christ,
Cara and John