My first year at Trinity Lutheran Seminary at Capital University, I took a class called Death, Dying, and Grieving. When we got to the part of the class where we talked about grief, we learned about the stages of grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. For some, grief is understood as having a very linear track. A person goes through one stage of grief and then the next, and once someone reaches the last stage, the grief is magically over.

The more I learned about grief, I realized that for many of us, grief is much more complicated than that. It is less of a linear path and more squiggly lines that cross all over the place that weave in between the stages and have no end. We also experience grief in a variety of ways; we can grieve the death of someone we love, a major change in our life or the world, a tragic event, and so much more. Learning to understand grief in this way helped me to start navigating my own journey of grief with my parents divorce, major life changes, and the death of friends and family.

I have been thinking about grief a lot more in the last few weeks, especially since my grandma's death on Valentine's Day. If I am being honest, I am not entirely sure where I am in my grief journey. There are some days where I feel like I go through all the stages but at the same time feel continually comforted that she is with God. Scripture is filled with many people expressing lament. Lament is another way of understanding and expressing sorrow, grief, and pain.

Lament is often expressed in the psalms. Psalm 22:1-2 says, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning? Oh my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but find no rest.” The psalmist cries out to God about the sorrow being experienced in their life.

I do not know what you are grieving, but we have reassurance that God is with us in our journey of grief and can handle our sorrow in all of the stages, highs, and lows. Perhaps you have seen God's reassuring presence amid your grief through the kindness of a good friend or family member who takes the time to listen to you, a kind note, or prayers.

In our Lenten theme, "Everything in Between," we have been talking about the messy middle that we experience in our lives. Often our grief is not in one stage or another but it's everything in between those stages. In what ways are you grieving? How are you seeing God walk alongside you in this journey?

Grieving with you,
Pastor Nicole

Doug grew famous last month with a simple, yet heartwarming invitation to his Winter Party. He certainly did not mean to get so much attention; his intention was to have a small gathering of old and new friends. Doug is an 87-year-old man whose wife passed away three years ago. He personally delivered twenty-four handwritten invitations that simply said, “A Celebration of Winter. 4pm until the cops arrive. Food and drinks on offer. Bring only a smile,” underneath his drawing of a snowflake. This interaction with one of his new neighbors was captured on her door camera. She posted it on social media and their exchange went viral (rapidly circulating from one internet user to another).

Doug said he hoped to “put people together in one room and maybe they will get to know each other”. His simple gesture spread beyond one room and all over the world. He received food donations and hundreds of cards wishing them well, and it even spawned a larger gathering in the town square for those that weren’t invited. I believe people are craving goodness and community in this world where ugliness tends to overshadow the good.

Being at Lord of Life (LOL) has shown me how powerful community can be, especially when it is rooted in the love of Jesus Christ. When we come together, we see and hear each other more fully, which enables us to grow together and gives us strength. It is an act of love, of affirmation, of understanding that we are better because of what each person brings. God has created each of us in all our uniqueness and diversity to enhance our lives together. Even if you join online with us, we pray that you feel the power of community. We are grateful for all the ways we connect.

As we gather around tables to share a meal in the sanctuary for Lent Dinner/Church, it is just one of the experiences at LOL that binds us together as we listen to each other’s stories. There is a transformational and healing power when we embrace each other fully. Romans 12:10 reminds us to “be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” It is a holy calling.

When we feel the peace of being loved in our own uniqueness, we can confidently take that into our community as some of us did at the Hamilton Pride Community Conversation or at the rally to Unite Against Hate. We didn’t know how many other LOL people would be at these events, but we individually felt the urge to comfort and support those who are marginalized, pushed to the edges, and even hated. How beautiful it was to find the strength of community and to listen with empathy and love.

LOL may not party till the cops come like Doug’s gathering, but we know how to sing, connect, and celebrate. We pray that we can provide a community where all are seen, honored, and embraced. Sure, there are times we fail or could improve, but the core of who we are is living, sharing, and celebrating, with all people, God’s love in Jesus Christ.

Do you feel loved in your uniqueness? I hope so! How is God calling you to listen, share, and celebrate in community with others?

Always learning and growing in Christ with you,
Angie Seiller, Director of Faith Formation

Some of the fanciest restaurants focus on seafood and steak. Shrimp, lobster, and oysters are considered to be the height of cuisine and there are special crystal dishes and silver tools crafted specifically for their serving. There are entire cultures and economies based around fishing and eating food from the water and … I don’t get it. What I often tell people is that I’m allergic to seafood. It is a quick sound bite that helps me avoid a drawn-out conversation.

The truth is, I grew up in northwest Ohio in the 1980’s, and while we weren’t directly on Lake Erie, we went there often enough that my nose can still conjure the fetid smell of rotting zebra muscles washing up on the shore of the lake. And then my parents would catch, dress, and cook walleye at our campsite, all while that wretched pungentness continued to invade my nostrils.

It has been 35 years since I’ve been anywhere near the lake. I’m not interested in reconciling with the fish. I’m not addressing this in therapy. I’m just living my life without eating anything that comes out of the water, and politely refusing it when offered.

Do I judge people who eat fish? Absolutely not. I am under no delusion that this is more than a psychological distaste for water-born creatures on my part.

Will I continue to tell people I’m allergic to fish to avoid a drawn out conversation? In many circumstances, yes. I have suffered for decades through circular conversations about what dishes I should try to ease myself into better quality seafood than what I grew up with. I find it stressful and I prefer to just order a nice chicken dish without having to explain my preferences, thank you.

This Sunday, our Lenten journey continues with a conversation about who we consider our neighbors. Jesus lived in an area that was a crossroads of many cultures, and everyone was afraid of giving up their piece of social, economic, political, and religious control. When any group got desperate to maintain their grip, the easiest thing they could do was strike out against what was different about the others. It is a human instinct that has not faded with time.

On Wednesdays, we’ll use our senses to explore our humanity. I used my story about the smell of fish to explain why I eat the way I do. Imagine the scents, sounds, sights, and other sensations of other parts of the world and how those have affected the habits and histories of entire cultures.

Now imagine if we look at the people we are being asked to call “neighbor” and we take a moment to say to ourselves, “I’d bet they have a really interesting story to tell.” They aren’t obligated to tell us. But acknowledging that there is more there that we don’t know is better than rushing to judgement and not treating people as equals.

What sense experiences have changed the way you interact with the world?
What biases do you think you might be able to see past if you recognize there is more to our neighbors’ stories?

John Johns, Music Director

A decade ago, I was attending a leadership summer camp called Wholly Iowa Youth Leadership Disciplining Event (Wiylde) at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. This leadership camp was geared towards high school students, and we spent a week learning about God, about being a Lutheran, and about the ways that we could live out our faith. On one of the last nights of the camp, we were in a common area outside singing, praying, and listening to music. As I found myself more immersed in the moment, I suddenly heard a voice clearly telling me that one day I was going to go to Luther College and go into ministry.

This voice caught me completely off guard because it was so unexpected, and I had no idea where the voice was coming from. A couple of years later, when I was attending Luther College, I told a pastor about my experience, and they excitedly told me, "That was the voice of God, Nicole." Hearing those words changed my entire perspective on that experience, and suddenly I was looking and listening for the ways God was working in my life.

I have been thinking about this experience a lot the last few weeks, especially through many conversations that I have had with friends and people at Lord of Life. It is always fascinating to hear about the ways people have heard God speaking in their lives. It may not be an experience like I had, or perhaps you have heard God that clearly, but you may have experienced God speaking to you in other ways. It may be through other people, the outdoors, meditation, prayer, music, and so much more. Perhaps the way God has spoken to you has led you to new and unexpected places. For myself, hearing the voice of God so strongly led me to go to Luther College and into ministry. One song I am reminded of is "Oceans". The bridge of the song says, "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters whenever you would call me."

You may not have heard God speak in your life so clearly, but the Spirit is always on the move. I see God at work in the variety of ministries at Lord of Life. I see the Spirit at work through all the people that walk through the doors of Lord of Life. What are the ways God is speaking to you? Is God leading you to new and unexpected places?

Always speaking,
Pastor Nicole

Rev. Dr. Mary Laymon, Executive Director at Tikkun Farm, recently helped lead our Women’s Retreat. In this time of seemingly insurmountable divisions, her recent blog is a reminder that “Jesus invited those listening to him to change the way they saw, so they too could embody Love in the world.” Here’s an excerpt:

The Trump sign in his yard gave me pause. He and his partner had been “married” many years before gay marriage had been made legal. I was curious about his support for a candidate who did not seem likely to be supportive of his life.

Because we had been friendly over the years I risked asking why he supported a candidate who seemed opposed to his marriage. “My mom raised me to take care of myself. No matter how poor we were, we would never be a family who took government handouts. I’ve been a lifelong Republican.”

That was so interesting to me. I had created a narrative, thanks in large part to the media, about Trump supporters. I saw them through a lens focused on culture war issues: DEI, LGBTQ+, gun control. But it was social/economic values that shaped my friend’s choice. Values he learned growing up about independence and integrity.

I shared that I had been raised by a single mom who climbed her way out of poverty because of government support. She fed us using food stamps. She got a free education because the government paid the school expenses for folks willing to go into nursing. These economic supports made it possible for her to get a good job, buy a house, and eventually live on her own means without government support. Because these government economic supports made it possible for our family to grow and thrive economically, I grew up to be a life-long Democrat.

This conversation took courage. I was grateful for my friend’s non-defensive forthrightness. His political choice made sense to me, given his family’s values. He helped me see a bigger picture. It’s a spiritual practice to change the way we see, because it changes how we love. Studies have shown that people take care of the things they learn to love.

At Tikkun Farm, we focus a lot on environmental education, because children who learn to love nature seek to protect it. One of our farm educators tells the compelling story of how quickly and easily people can see differently. As the 2nd graders helped him dig holes for the new cherry trees, they came across a worm in the soil. “Yuck!” they shrieked, “a worm!” And immediately began to stomp on it. He quickly intervened, “No,” he said, “Don’t hurt my friend the worm. We need him to help our trees grow.” And he explained how worms create holes and tunnels in the soil that allow rain to get to the roots of the tree. And how worm poop is some of the best food to help the tree grow.
A few minutes later, the students found another worm in their digging. “Hey there, little wormy,” they said, gently picking him up. “You need to go over here, so I don’t hurt you with my shovel.” And they laid him down in a pile of dirt off to the side.

Changing the way we see, changes the way we love. As a wisdom teacher, Jesus knew this. In fact, Jesus was so clear that seeing was the first step in learning to love that when he was invited to read an ancient text in worship he misquoted it—on purpose. The prophet Isaiah had said, “The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners.” But when Jesus read this scroll in his synagogue he said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.”

Jesus removed the line from Isaiah about “binding up the brokenhearted” and replaced it with “recovery of sight to the blind.” Jesus knew we can’t bind up the brokenhearted, until we see them with compassion—not just some of them, but all the children in the human family. Even, and especially, those we disagree with.

That is why my conversation with my friend who had the Trump sign in his yard, mattered so much. It helped me see him, not as a caricature of a mean bigot given to me by the media, but as a child of God, raised on values I respected, like integrity and independence.

As the embodiment of Love, Jesus invited those listening to him to change the way they saw, so they too could embody Love in the world. Who am I seeing as less than a child of God? Who’s humanity am I overlooking? Who have I dehumanized with name calling? Where does my need to be right keep me from being loving? Where does my fear of what others might think keep me silent?

Like the children could not love the worm until they saw it as an essential part of creation. It will be awkward and uncomfortable sometimes. And that’s ok. I can tolerate some discomfort if holding up a loving mirror helps others to see more fully and, therefore, love more widely.

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I’m grateful for Pastor Mary’s deep conviction for loving and caring for God’s people and all of creation. Her commitment to reflection, learning, and growing is opening my eyes to new ways of seeing.

For Mary’s full sermon: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1GanBgj9M5/

God’s peace,
Angie Seiller, Director of Faith Formation

There is so much craziness in my life right now: I am entering my second year of internship at Trinity Lutheran Church in Mt. Healthy, I am preparing to submit my annual evaluations to the synod and the seminary, my classes are fully underway for the spring, and I am preparing for my synod approval, which is the next step in my ordination path. Things are beginning to move quickly, and it feels like I am speeding to what feels like something of a finish line.

My path to ordination is winnowing down. A lot has happened since January of 2022. I have grown, found my ministerial voice, and am looking forward to Approval and First Call. Everything in my life is pushing me forward, and that is so very exciting. I feel like a high school senior seeing my time in one season of life wind down as I enter the liminal space of preparation for my next season.

Just like high school seniors, I am also looking forward to Homecoming. This isn’t a Homecoming that involves a dance or a football game or a cheesy way of asking someone to be my date. For me, Homecoming will be returning to you, returning to Lord of Life. I had the joy of being able to get together with Pastor Lowell last week for coffee and left that morning with an invitation to return to Lord of Life as a guest preacher, so I will be coming home to see you all on Sunday, March 30. Mark your calendars!

In the spirit of that homecoming, I’ve been thinking about Mark 5:19, where the healed man from Gerasene is sent by Jesus, with him being told, “Go home to your friends, and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and what mercy he has shown you.” I feel very much like the Gerasene man, coming to share with you how I have been transformed, how the Holy Spirit moves within me, and how I have come to feel the Holy presence in my life.

These last three years have been amazing, life changing, and remarkably challenging. While the process of seminary has resulted in my having to step away as a regular presence at Lord of Life, please know that you all are a regular part of my daily thoughts. You are all in my prayers, and I will always be grateful for the support and love I receive from you. You are my HOME church, and I am extremely excited to be coming home to you all.

See you in March!

Rick Ponton
Pastoral Intern, Trinity Lutheran Church, Cincinnati