When I was just starting out in the workforce, I attended a lecture by one of Procter & Gamble’s nationally recognized female executives on the topic of work-life balance. She shared a lot of good information, but one thing she said stuck with me. In discussing working moms vs stay-at-home moms vs. part-time moms, and daycare vs. nannies vs. babysitters, she said that we need to support each other, and recognize that whatever situation is right for your family, it didn’t mean that others who made a different choice were wrong.
I’ve had the same concept presented to me again and again in different formats. In a class on conflict resolution and negotiation, I was encouraged to borrow a technique taught to improvisational actors called “Yes, and.” The idea being that to keep a conversation flowing, be it a comedy sketch or a work negotiation, you respond to the other person’s idea first with an affirmation: “yes,” then you build on it with “and.”
This idea of supporting each other’s choices is always a good one, but especially appropriate now when many folks are faced with situations with no clear right answer for anyone. Many of us are wrestling with choices about educating our children during this COVID-19 pandemic. More than one friend has posted a graphic on Facebook with the message that whatever education option you choose, you are a good parent for making the best choice for your kids, and I support you in making that tough choice. What a terrific affirmation when one is struggling to balance learning, socialization, and health and safety!
Now, I’m not saying there aren’t bad choices. We know there are bad choices and we’ve all made them. The apostle Paul talks about our common struggle with sin: “I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15). But we’ve been freed of the stain of those bad choices through God’s grace and Jesus’ resurrection. Let’s share that freedom and the peace that comes with it with those around us who need some support and affirmation.
In a recent session of our Summer Study on Race, we discussed the film Just Mercy, about the life of Bryan Stevenson, who has dedicated decades to the release of those wrongly incarcerated. Many of us involved in the discussion expressed that we’re no Bryan Stevenson -- we aren’t called to serve in that way. Especially in these days when so many of our traditional ways of serving and giving are unavailable, many felt adrift.
During these uncertain and anxious days, one thing we can all do is encourage and pray for one another. Share some words of appreciation with all of those essential workers helping you keep your family fed, safe, and educated. Take an extra moment to connect with colleagues as they navigate the pros and cons of returning to the office or working from home. Comment on a post to share some words of encouragement to someone who needs it. And be gentle with yourself as you navigate all of the choices to be made in these singular times. Know that there are moms, dads, friends, kids, and a loving God who are in your corner cheering you on!
You got this,
Cara