Since the beginning of my journey to the “pastorate,” I have always looked forward to and have been scared of internship. Internship is exciting in that I begin full-time fieldwork into what I love and feel called to. However, these two years of serving and learning are scary due to the responsibility and expectations, but mostly because of change. Change is scary, and I became familiar with change as something to fear in the weeks leading up to moving to West Chester, OH.
When impatiently waiting for my absentee ballot to arrive in the mail, I realized that I may be filling out my last ballot as a Kentuckian. In this realization, I felt as if part of my identity was soon to be chipped away. Grappling with moving north of the Ohio River, I did not only worry about my Kentucky identity, but also worried about leaving friends, family, my church, and my significant other Justin. I had to prepare to adjust to a new normal just as a repotted plant has to get used to new soil.
Though I am still a Kentuckian, friends and family are only two hours away, and my partner will frequently visit since he is able to work from home during the pandemic, the anxiety remains. Though I am anxious, I know that “home” is an ever-developing word. Our understanding of what home is for ourselves never stays the same for a long period of time. Sometimes, home is a place, like the great commonwealth of Kentucky. Though I haven’t lived with my parents in years, they’re home and their house is still home - though in a different way, prior to moving out. As my relationship has developed, Justin is now home.
I did not reconstruct my family and parents’ house as home without moving out. I did not discover Justin as home without taking a leap into dating. And now, I am taking a leap to discover home as West Chester, OH and Lord of Life Lutheran Church. Though change is scary, small and large leaps can reap bountiful harvest.
We know this to be true by the leaps of Jesus’ followers when they first decided to make Jesus their home, whether it was Simon Peter and Andrew leaving their nets to follow him, the bold unnamed woman entering a Pharisees’ house to anoint Jesus’ feet, or Matthew leaving the tax collector’s booth to a life he did not yet know.
I find rest in knowing that Jesus is always home, and I take comfort in the truths of the gospel, one of them being that courageous leaps and vulnerability are necessary in finding home like Jesus - security, comfort, joy. In this knowledge, I am still anxious, but I look forward to discovering home as Lord of Life Lutheran and West Chester, OH.
From home,
Alec Brock (he, him, his)