As the Lord of Life staff knows, I sometimes struggle with writing the blog. Writing does not come naturally to me and the grammar rules can be fuzzy. However, I have come to find peace in the quiet of the early morning when I tend to start my blogging journey. An early alarm, a cup of coffee, a blanket, my laptop, sometimes various books, and opening the shades so I can watch the sun rise are part of the process. This month, there was the added serenity of the Christmas tree and lights.
Since blogging is a process, I tend to start with an idea and several times abandon it for another. I was blessed this morning with finding a blog I had started a few years ago as it brought memories flooding back. It hit home with the mixed emotions that I have been feeling this Advent season. I’ve been missing my mom who died during this season along with feeling the weight of other losses and the sadness of events going on in the world, so my heart has been heavy. But then there is the profound joy and hope when we celebrate and join together at Advent dinners, at the Instant Christmas program, and as a community of faith during this season of anticipation for the light of Jesus that is to come.
These are the beginnings of my blog three years ago… “I started the third Sunday of Advent just as it was meant to be, a week of joy. It was going to be a great day. I had a morning full of LOL church lovin’ (can you hear Pastor Lowell saying that?), the Christmas program, lunch with dear friends, and senior high night with LOL and VEIL youth. My only worries were how much pizza I should order, and did I get enough Christmas tree treats for the program? Oh, and the sun was shining!
I got the call right after my lunch. My mom and stepdad, Lou, had both fallen and were being taken to West Chester ER. Bam! How quickly the day turned. They thought the injuries weren’t too serious, but this was a new complication since my stepdad was in the process of learning to care for mom after her major back surgery. Now he looked like the guy who lost the prize fight and needed care too.
How are we going to work through this? Who was going to care for my mom now? So much to figure out. But as God does, moments of joy were placed between the worry and fear. When the Chaplain at the hospital came to visit my mom, she said, “You need to go to Lou”, and when she went to visit Lou, he sent her right back to mom. We all drew comfort from their love and care for each other. Mom and I had those big down times of waiting in the ER where we laughed at memories from childhood and mused at the amazingness of nurses and care staff.”
What a gift to remember my mom today as she always was, the eternal optimist with an ability to share joy with others even in her pain. She was also an amazing writer with her masters in English who could whip out a poem or heartfelt letter in a flash. I guess this talent skips a generation! But don’t feel bad for me as she also instilled in her children the ability to laugh at ourselves and appreciate what other gifts God had given us.
When we know the fullness of joy, we are also opening ourselves to experience sadness, frustration, and loss. Life is truly a balance of emotions.
How comforting to know that God sent Jesus to experience the fullness of humankind, which encompasses the entirety of emotions. When we are willing to open our lives and hearts to live freely among God’s people in this Advent season and beyond, there will be sorrow but there will also be great joy.
What emotions are you feeling today? Can you see the joys that, many times, mix in with the sorrows? Can you find hope as we rejoice in the birth of Jesus that brings love and light to a weary world?
Sharing the season of hope, love, joy and peace with you,
Angie Seiller, Director of Faith Formation