Have you ever heard the old adage, “the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?” Besides very overtly sexist, because I know many a female who enjoys a good meal, I don’t totally agree with the saying. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good meal! You can get me to do just about anything as long as I know a brisket, prime rib, or rack of ribs will be waiting for me at the end of the task. But bribing me with food is very different from showing me love. The way to show me love is through acts of service.
In 1992, Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled “The Five Love Languages,” which was meant to show you “how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate” and share with you the “secret to love that lasts.” Those are pretty bold claims by the author, but the heart of the program, understanding the ways that people receive and give love through their actions, is something that everyone can benefit from.
You can find out your love language by filling out the short, free assessment at www.5lovelanguages.com. I don’t totally agree with all of their theology, or their hetero-normative views on marriage, but the Five Love Languages tool can benefit married or single adults. The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Each one of us defaults to one of these “languages” when we want to show love or care for another person. I typically give gifts when I want someone to know that I care for them. We also prefer one of these “languages” to be spoken to us when someone is showing us love. Nothing says “I care about you” more to me than when someone does something nice for me, an Act of Service.
When you know your own way of showing love and your preferred way to receive love, it can help you in interactions with family and friends. Just because I love to give gifts doesn’t mean that’s what my wife or kids want; they prefer that I give them Words of Affirmation or Quality Time. As we move into the month of Hallmark-induced love, February, I encourage you to take the Five Love Languages assessment and share your results with your friends and family. Realize that sharing love with people does not come in a one-size-fits-all package and quite often we need to work at it.
And as a fun exercise, look at all of the announcements in our bulletin throughout February and try to see how each activity or project at Lord of Life fits into one of these love languages.
Feel free to wash my car,
Pastor Corey