I’ve always loved Thanksgiving. In recent years, I’ve learned that much of what we know about the roots of the holiday are problematic or inaccurate. I don’t need all of the lore about pilgrims to enjoy the holiday, but instead, just like to gather together and express gratitude.
I’ve been hosting Thanksgiving dinner for over 20 years. Throughout that time, the menu hasn’t changed much: there’s always turkey, dressing and stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, two kinds of cranberries, and lots of pie. Sometimes a guest will bring an unusual side dish or appetizer (chocolate brie anyone?). Since I’m hosting, I invite my husband Greg’s family who live here in town and my parents usually come from Pennsylvania. This allows us to squeeze in an ‘extra’ holiday with both, since we usually alternate where we spend time on the holidays.
In addition to our immediate family, I always tell my guests to keep an eye out for anyone who doesn’t have plans; there’s always room for one more at the table. I decorate my house with fall foliage, pumpkins, and those retro fan-fold turkeys. I’ll get out my pine wreaths and twinkly lights on Friday, but not a moment sooner.
This Thanksgiving, like the rest of 2020, will be different. I will cook the same food, but it will only be my immediate family around my dining room table. My father-in-law will unpack his dinner from the bag we set on his doormat. My parents will stay home, and so will the rest of my family and friends. I will miss the hugs, the laughter, and all the help washing dishes afterward.
Intellectually, I know that one Thanksgiving apart isn’t a big deal. Emotionally and spiritually, I’m a little depleted by it and it’s hard to get past it. Do you know that feeling? It’s as if you’re reading a book or watching a movie, and the emotion is so strong, and you just need to read ahead or fast forward to get some relief.
This Sunday is the first Sunday in Advent. We will light the first candle on the Advent wreath for hope. We will acknowledge that there is a lot in this world that can be discouraging, debilitating, and stressful. We will sing “O Come Emmanuel.” Emmanuel, declaring that God is with us. We celebrate that we may be apart, but we are never alone. This year, along with serving up turkey and gratitude on Thanksgiving, I’ll look ahead to Sunday and light a candle for hope.
In hope,
Cara