Thank you to everyone who reached out to me over the last week asking about my health. On Tuesday, August 27, I went to the emergency room because of a constant fluttering feeling on the left side of my chest. I had the fluttering feeling for several days and it was getting so intense that it was distracting me from my work. While there was no pain associated with it, it was definitely annoying! After sitting in the emergency room for several hours, hooked to various machines, and subjected to a multitude of tests, the doctors could not find anything wrong with my heart. I am following up with a cardiologist this week to receive a monitoring device for further testing.
More than likely, whatever was bothering me was probably due to stress. This is a very busy time of year for me as I submit my final internship evaluations, submit my 20-page approval essay which outlines to future churches all of my theological understandings, I began classwork for two classes, and I am probably biting off more work than I can chew. I don’t tell you all of this to elicit sympathy, for I know that all of you are probably racked with stress as well. I mention it because when times got hard I immediately slipped back into bad theology.
I jokingly posted on my Facebook page: “My heartbeat has been acting weird, my car is officially dead, and my laptop died. I think God is trying to tell me to take some time off work!” I meant the phrase tongue-in-cheek, but not everyone who replied to the message took it that way. What I posted was bad theology. I don’t believe that God made my heart act weird, I don’t believe God KO’ed my car, and I don’t believe God fried the motherboard of my computer.
The God that I see in the Bible is a God who is constantly creating, trying to bring about wholeness, and has an undying love for all of creation. In the teachings of Jesus, I do not hear a God that wants to punish us to get our attention or to teach us a lesson. The overwhelming message is one where we are called to love God and neighbor in the same way that God loves us, unconditionally.
God was not the one causing the bad things to happen, but I did experience God’s love through the supportive actions of my family and friends. People volunteered to come visit me at the hospital, people prayed for me, someone let me borrow their car (which also broke down, but that is another story), and my kids were able to let me borrow their Chromebook so that I could get some work done. If someone ever tells you, “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” tell them they are right. Not for the reasons they think, but because God doesn’t give us pain and strife, God brings about the good in our lives.
In closing, sorry for the bad theology in my Facebook post… they really do need to come up with some kind of sarcasm font. And yes, I am probably stressed beyond my breaking point, so I am trying to get more rest and cutting back on my caffeine intake. Thank you all for your loving support, I see Christ’s love in the way you care for me and my family.
My Heart Skips With Joy,
Pastor Corey
image courtesy of www.teespring.com/shop/badtheologykillsblack