Nathan gets it. His momma has been home with the flu all week, so she couldn’t come to worship on Ash Wednesday. Before he left the church after worship, Nathan made sure that he had some ashes to go in a little communion cup, so that she wouldn’t miss out on this important church day. It was his way of saying, “I love you.”

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of our 40-day Lenten journey toward Easter and is a day when we confront the reality that we will die. As part of my reflection on Joel 2 (2:1-2, 12-17) and Matthew 6 (6:1-6, 16-21), I said that “I’ll never get used to the death-related aspects of my job. While I have the opportunities to be part of all sorts of exciting life-giving and powerful moments – baptisms and weddings, worship and concerts, Sunday morning learning and weekday Bible studies, BBQs, visiting newborns at the hospital, dreaming and visioning and so much more – much of my time is spent hovering in the circumference of death and dying moments.

Little ones who are ailing, marriages that are decaying, downward spirals of addiction, family hurting family, friends betraying friends, and the heavy burdens that come with words like cancer, Alzheimer’s, and stroke, not to mention end-of-life farewells. Not all of them are a literal death, but there is frequently a dagger to the heart of joy and hope. Some days it is too much to bear.

In reality, it isn’t just me facing down all of these things. You are too. We’re all in this together.”

What a gift it is to be able to love people. God created us in love, for love. Sometimes it can be terribly hard, bordering on unbearable, but we are blessed to share the journey with others.

This Lenten season, we’ll be exploring Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages and what they looked like in the life of Christ. Chapman suggests that we all give/receive love using our primary language(s). The Five Love Languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. Until we understand one another’s love language, we are missing communicating and connecting with each other. 

Jesus knew what type of love each person needed and loved them perfectly. He offered words of encouragement and affirmation to the Centurion saying, “I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith” and told his disciples and the crowd that they were his family.

To others, he stuck around a little extra, giving them the quality time that they needed, including a deep investment in his disciples by living, working, and sharing with them for three years.

Jesus was also a phenomenal gift giver. He gave the hungry crowd on the hillside more than they could eat, power and authority to his disciples, and restored life to his friend Lazarus. Each was a gift of love.

Washing his disciples’ feet and healing the man born blind, Jesus showed his love through acts of service, not to mention that he willingly laid down his life for you and for me.

When Jesus took the children in his arms and blessed them, he was telling them of his great love, just as he did when he saw Simon’s mother-in-law lying ill and “took her by the hand and lifted her up – the fever left her.” Physical touch was central to his ministry.

How does Jesus meet and love you? How do you experience the presence of God in this community and the world? Little Nathan might not know his mom’s love language, but that doesn’t stop him from loving.

XOXO!

Pastor Lowell

If you haven’t done it, yet, we encourage you to take an online assessment to show how you lean:

www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes

We encounter strangers, friends, and acquaintances every day and our interactions are often guided by the first impressions we have when we see them. Are they smiling or frowning? Do they seem like they are “put together?” Do they appear calm or agitated? Sometimes we pay very little attention and go about our day with rote greetings: “Hello! How are you?” “Do you need help with anything today?” “Have a great day!” And sometimes we are paying attention but the people with whom we interact have put up a social facade, masking anything that might be troubling them.

Recently, music director John Johns stepped out of 9:30 worship to share his spiritual journey with the Senior High students in Sunday School. He talked about his childhood, growing up in the Roman Catholic church, and struggling with depression and anxiety. Toward the end of the morning, he shared a story about how important it is to be part of a loving community.

A couple of years ago, John was working quietly in the sanctuary and Cara asked a seemingly innocuous question: “Are you okay?” John answered, “yeah, just getting a lot done,” but he realized that what he thought was a carefully manufactured happy face must be slipping. For most of his life, he was used to smiling at people and pretending to be “fine,” when most of the time he was working hard to keep his depression and anxiety at bay.

Cara’s attention and the simple question made John realize he couldn’t manage his mood on his own anymore, and that he needed to go to the doctor for help. Two years and several treatment options later, he feels like he has his mood under control, and he knows he is part of a community that is helping to watch out for him. 

Cara doesn’t even remember the conversation. But sometimes a passing comment can have a significant impact on another person. From ending a bad relationship to seeking treatment or renewing faith, simple conversations can make a big impact in the context of a caring community. We recognize the power of caring conversation in many forms, such as CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish) retreats, support groups, and Stephen Ministry. But John and Cara’s narrative highlights that there doesn’t need to be a formal mechanism for such a conversation to take place, just a caring community. 

Yours in Christ,

Cara and John

I used to love reading the print news. I know that may seem strange coming from someone who straddles the GenX and Millenial age ranges since it is widely assumed that our generation’s addiction to technology is killing print media. My interest in print media developed at an early age as I used to peruse the Hamilton Journal News at my parent’s home, focusing mainly on local articles and the arts section. That interest has continued through adulthood as I currently have subscriptions to four magazines and two newspapers and that doesn’t include the random magazines that come to my house throughout the year from Thrivent, my alma mater Miami University, or other places that have me on their customer mailing list. Despite being surrounded by a trove of print media each week, I am finding it harder and harder to pick it up and read it. 

I used to consider print media as the last bastion of truth in reporting. I have long ago given up on any “news” program that airs on TV as the majority of the program is commentary and spin on things that may or may not be fact, the focus has shifted to ratings rather than reporting. I held onto the hope that social media outlets like Twitter and Facebook could be a source for real news, but as we have seen, anyone can post something claiming it is true, and many people who see it will believe it and share it. News has become so politically divided that each political side claims to own “the real truth” and anyone who doesn’t believe them is a moron or propagator of a massive conspiracy. It feels like we have lost the ability to know “the truth” and that is immensely debilitating. 

I had a similar experience during my first month at seminary in my Introduction to the Old (First) Testament class. My professor told us, “the great flood of Noah, as you think of it, probably didn’t happen.” She went on to say that there was probably a flood at some point in history, that seemed like it covered the whole earth to the people at that time, but in all reality, they had no idea that the earth was round or what was on the other side. This shook me to my core for a while. What I considered “truth” in the Bible was maybe not as truthful as I thought it was. It could have just been commentary, by the author, about a historical fact mixed with a dose of God’s faithfulness in saving humanity. Where could I find truthful reporting about the God of history?

My quest for truth in the media and truth in the historical accounts of the Bible may continue to frustrate and confound me for the rest of my life, but the good news is that we can put our hope in the Truth (capital T) that is revealed to us through Scripture, that Jesus Christ came to show us the kingdom of God and that God has power over death. While all of the details may be up for speculation, we have faith in the true message of the story, that our God is a God of truth, justice, and mercy. Life is never as easy as a dichotomy, an either/or, a black/white, we live our lives in the multiple hues of the continuum of grayness; and while that may frustrate us at times, the search for truth usually happens in the liminal space, the margins, somewhere between. 

Not yet making a cone hat out of foil, 

Pastor Corey

If you would like to purchase your own cute, vinyl dumpster fire, visit: www.entertainmentearth.com/product/DVSOFT0079

When I was growing up we had a radio in the kitchen and it was on all day long. We were apprised of local farm reports, weather forecasts, Mississippi River water levels, barge traffic, grain prices, and even school lunch menus. It was pretty mundane news for a youngster, but one segment stood out. A popular DJ had a spot called “Beefs and Bouquets.” The DJ regaled us with stories of his complaints and praises about situations or people who really got under his skin or who deserved a hearty public thanks. I loved that he could rant and rave about a beef, but always delivered a verbal bouquet to those doing outstanding work for others.

At the end of January, Lord of Life hosted Family Promise for our first time in 2020. In reviewing our volunteer sign-up sheet, we have a lot of folks who deserve a hearty “bouquet” for showering our guests with love and compassion:

Christopher, Lisa, and Rebecca Bacu, Amanda Bailey, Brady, Danielle, and Zach Beneteau, Dean, Cindy, and Rylie Campbell, Susan Clem, Susan and Joe Cramer, Leah Devin, Jeanne Doan, Paula and Martin Drake, Debbie and Scott Dubov, Bill and Helen Funk, Eric Gebert, Doug and Kathryn Gruver, Jeff and Lois Hills, Denise Krallman, Barb and Jeff Link, Delaney and Janette Metzger, Eden, Naaman, Tera, and Lowell Michelson, Ann and Scott Popoff, Lori Reimer, Sue Rutherford, Andy Shollenbarger, Corey, Maddie, Max  Megan, and Mollie Wagonfield, David and  Chrystopher Weisbrod, David, Dulce, and Jennifer Withrow, Neal Wood, and Susan Zwarg. This list was taken from the volunteer sign-up sheets. We apologize if we missed you.

Some outstanding things happened that week which deserve special recognition:

• On set-up Sunday we lost two volunteers due to last-minute commitments. We appealed to the Senior High Sunday School class meeting that morning to consider helping us out with set up. Some stayed making a huge impact! A bit later that morning, we were surprised by a large contingent of junior high kids returning from their weekend retreat. We put some of them to work and they eagerly helped. 
• One weekday meal host recognized that a family was freezing in their room and moved them, bed frames, mattresses, and all to a warmer room. Her daughter also ran to the store to buy throat lozenges for our very sick moms. 
• A member generously gave medical advice via a phone call helping us calm down a sick mom.
• One member installed Roku in the Senior High room giving our guest families access to a variety of movies and entertainment.
• Volunteers from Christ the King and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, both in West Chester filled some volunteer slots.
• One member’s mom helped us with the laundry. 
• Quite a few volunteers signed up for multiple volunteer slots.

These stories make my heart sing. Lord of Life may not have the swankiest of accommodations. Some churches have gymnasiums with basketball hoops, showers, a converted parsonage with “real” bedrooms and full bathrooms, and even play Bingo with the guests and offer prizes! But I can tell you that when the families leave us each morning and return to the Day Center, they report stories of our passionate and caring ways. This happens every week we host. Thank you. You are all amazing!

Lauri Vesper

Lauri Vesper and Chrystal Green are our Family Promise Coordinators.

Family Promise’s mission is to help families experiencing homelessness and low-income families achieve sustainable independence through a community-based response.

About four times a year – for a week at a time – host congregations provide overnight lodging, meals (supper, breakfast, and bag lunch) and hospitality. Hosting rotates among congregations, which provide lodging for three to five families (up to 14 individuals) from 6 pm to 7 am the next morning. Read more here: www.familypromisebutlercounty.com

Mark your calendars to help during our upcoming 2020 host weeks: May 3-10, July 26-August 2, October 25-November 1, December 6-13.

Have you ever heard the old adage, “the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?” Besides very overtly sexist, because I know many a female who enjoys a good meal, I don’t totally agree with the saying. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good meal! You can get me to do just about anything as long as I know a brisket, prime rib, or rack of ribs will be waiting for me at the end of the task. But bribing me with food is very different from showing me love. The way to show me love is through acts of service. 

In 1992, Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled “The Five Love Languages,” which was meant to show you “how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate” and share with you the “secret to love that lasts.” Those are pretty bold claims by the author, but the heart of the program, understanding the ways that people receive and give love through their actions, is something that everyone can benefit from. 

You can find out your love language by filling out the short, free assessment at www.5lovelanguages.com. I don’t totally agree with all of their theology, or their hetero-normative views on marriage, but the Five Love Languages tool can benefit married or single adults. The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Each one of us defaults to one of these “languages” when we want to show love or care for another person. I typically give gifts when I want someone to know that I care for them. We also prefer one of these “languages” to be spoken to us when someone is showing us love. Nothing says “I care about you” more to me than when someone does something nice for me, an Act of Service. 

When you know your own way of showing love and your preferred way to receive love, it can help you in interactions with family and friends. Just because I love to give gifts doesn’t mean that’s what my wife or kids want; they prefer that I give them Words of Affirmation or Quality Time. As we move into the month of Hallmark-induced love, February, I encourage you to take the Five Love Languages assessment and share your results with your friends and family. Realize that sharing love with people does not come in a one-size-fits-all package and quite often we need to work at it. 

And as a fun exercise, look at all of the announcements in our bulletin throughout February and try to see how each activity or project at Lord of Life fits into one of these love languages. 

Feel free to wash my car,

Pastor Corey

We sat down to one of our recent holiday meals with Brian's family, including our triplet niece and nephews. After some typical back and forth about which holiday foods were and were not worth eating, I think there was as much food on the table and on faces as there was on plates or in stomachs. As a matter of crowd control, we started to sing songs and play games at the table (mostly so the adults could have a moment to eat instead of tending to the kids.)

Dinner wrapped up with an old-school game of "telephone," with phrases carefully selected and whispered by each of the kids. Most of them were cute. I'm pretty sure "poop" was the funniest, and also the first one that made it all the way around the table without any changes. The one that brought the game to a quick and awkward end came from Gabby. "I love you." We all complied and finished out the round, but it was apparent how uneasy the words were on the tongues of adult in-laws from various branches of the family who had never shared these words among each other. Of course it had never occured to a 5-year-old that there would be any reason to reserve those words to a select few people.

And why should there be? I know as well as anyone that life experience and social insecurities can make it difficult to express our feelings toward other people. It can be much easier to build walls around ourselves to protect our emotions than it is to make ourselves vulnerable by letting someone know we care about them. The problem is compounded when you know your feelings might be met with equal hesitation by the individual on the receiving end of your care. And perhaps at some level, we want to protect the meaning of the word "love" so it doesn't become tired from overuse, and instead we don't use any word at all to let people know we love them.

Jesus' command to love one another is first an edict to get over our biases against other people and treat everyone, even those who are different than us, the way we would want to be treated. As difficult as that can be to put into action, it is an easy enough concept to grasp. Another difficult idea that Jesus exemplifies is showing care and attention to people who are already in our circle; and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to the love and affection we receive from others.

Some people are already better at this than others, but if you are one of us who can sometimes struggle to open up, maybe you could take baby steps toward loving your neighbor by allowing yourself to be vulnerable to letting people close to you know you love them, too.

Yours in Christ,

John Johns